The Free Pizza Perk

Learning to pound pizza dough is as close to a fast-food job as I got. Of course, there are those that will debate me on pizza as fast-food, but considering the quantity of it that I consumed while working for Domino's, there is a pretty good chance that it is one of the reasons that a Doctor suggested that I steer clear of gluten, wheat and dairy. Let's just say that with a request like that, it's pretty easy to see why I had high blood-pressure until I changed Doctors.

Don't get me wrong, I still like pizza. It should be a mandatory food group all it's own. Required Eating as far as I am concerned. Yet, as much as I may not have liked my former Doctor's advice, it's actually pretty good advice. When I did make an effort to cut down on wheat consumption, I noticed a difference. I switched from regular pasta to rice noodles, and learned to make all sorts of interesting dishes. All of them were fantastic, provided that I took the time to make the effort. But none of them were pizza. I was trained to make pizza. I love pizza.

Now, is Domino's Pizza, Fast Food? Well, it all depends on what you order. Get a pizza with lite sauce and lite cheese, and every vegetable on the menu, and you've got a pretty healthy pizza. Switch it over to a cholesterol fest that needs 3 paper plates just to keep your jeans clean (as if you care) as the oils from the cheese and sausages drip through the cuts, soak the crust, and make you wonder if there is a spill containment kit handy. Seriously, we're talking about a pizza so oily that it completely soaks through the box and makes a red pepperoni oil-slick on the counter. You order it, we'll make it. For the 2C3P2L (*), I suggest the thick crust, but if you want regular or thin, well, you're the customer. We don't deliver napkins.

I also got to sample a number of different pizzas. There was a ritual pizza that was known as the "Crew Pie." On a busy night, there would be an lull when there were no phones ringing, and all of the drivers were out of the store. Just the crew and the manager. Since I was working inside detail, and got to anchor the makeline once in a while, I got a chance to make a crew pie. The manager gave me a few guidelines, but basically, you could make a free pizza. The food costs were going to support a little good will. Besides, I was a college student. I was hungry.

As I whipped out a masterpiece of pizza perfection, the phone rang. One of the girls grabbed it on the start of the second ring, and took the order. I put the pizza on the slow-moving belt of the CTX oven for it's 4 minute and 54 second trip to golden crispy goodness. Then another phone rang and a returning driver pounced on it as I lumbered over to the dough station to grab the tag that was just about done being written.

By the end of the next wave of the rush, two or three drivers were still in the back. One munching on a piece of crust, and the other folding a stack of boxes. I glanced at the end of the sink where we always put the crew pie, looking for the box. No Box. In the trash, a box without a label, and cut marks. Empty. I was a college student, and I was still hungry. I managed a polite chat with the manager, and he looked up with a sheepish grin which broke into a smile.

"Do like Anchovies?"

I shook my head. I could barely handle touching those slimy things when they were fresh from the can, and if they had been in a half-gallon container for a week, forget it. You just tossed then entire container, since it was useless for anything, including a new can of 'chovies. Eat Them? No.

"Well, then you'd better learn to like Jalapenos then."

Great. Sliced Pickled Jalapenos with the seeds, and the middle. I had a choice. Stinky Fish or Hot Peppers. Not something safe and sane like an Italian Pepperoncini, no, it had to be Jalapenos. Curse the Spanish for having been here first. Jalapenos. So, in my frustration, I walked over to the makeline, and selected a pristine wheel of Jalapeno. It looked so nice, and it started out so tangy that I thought it might be a joke.

I chewed. I coughed. I chewed and swallowed. I burned. I had a pizza to make. My eyes watered. I almost ripped the dough-skin. The sauce nearly hit the edge of the pizza. I was shaking so hard that the cheese left my hands effortlessly and fell correctly, and I hardly noticed from the pain in my mouth and throat.

The anguish started to subside. I managed to finish making the pizza and snag a slice of Salami in the process. Perhaps I would be able to taste it. All I could hope was that the manager was not looking at the time. From his desk, through one-way glass, he could look straight down the makeline and watch the pizzas move toward his window, make a right turn, and go into the oven. He was also on the lookout for hand-to-mouth moves.

The next day, I made it a point to discretely interview and recall what toppings people hated the most, and my manager was correct. Anchivies and Japaneno were at the top of the list, as was Pineappple. As one of the most expensive items on the makeline, it was discouraged on crew pies, but could appear, sparingly, on half. Essentially, it was a 1/4 portion. In my case, it was a necessity.

Gathering intelligence as I had, I discovered that the big eater in driver pool had no problem with hot food, but just choked on pineapple. This meant that I had to use pineapple on crew pies, just to keep this guy limited to half of the pizza. My trick was to cross, half the pizza with Jalapenos. This way, there was a quarter of the pie that was both Pineapple and Jalapeno. To keep the drivers from picking off the toppings, I put half of the cheese on top of the toppings.

The top cheese was interesting for a few reasons. First, it was not standard practice, so the pizza was not sellable. It did not meet the standard for construction. It was a deviation. Second, the cheese browned in the presence of Pineapple. Normally, if you slop the Pineapple onto a pizza using the standard technique of middle-out building (and clearing out the middle), you get white cheese. Always. The pineapple juice prevents the cheese from bubbling and browning. It is for this reason that Pineapple was not a corporate item, but was optional at the franchise locations.

There are no rules for the crew pie. Not when I make it. This time, everything went just like before. The lul, the pie, the phone, the mini rush, and the drivers in the back room, one folding boxes, the other pissed. There's one slice left on the open pizza box at the end of the counter. Yellow and green under melted cheese, with other good stuff too. Like pepperoni and black olives, with a smattering of mushrooms. Sometimes it's good to break the rules.



* Double Cheese, Triple Pepperoni and Double Salami

Two Minutes to Pepperoni

I would prefer not to list the reasons for taking a job working for Domino's Pizza at the age of Eighteen. Suffice to say, you do what you have to do, and I met the requirements for a driving position. At the time I had a car that was seat belt exempt, which meant that I could beat my fellow drivers to the door in the hustle. Yes, this was back in the 30 minute days of Domino's, but it was just $3.00 off, not a free pizza.

While I was hanging out in the small waiting area, waiting for a chance to chat with the manager. Frankly, I needed to pick up a second job at the time so I could save up the cash I needed to pay for my first semester in College. You see, I was going to have to enroll, and the Pizza gig might work well, since there was flexibility in the schedule. That, and the fact that getting up at false dawn every morning for my other job was just not going to work.

So I kept myself occupied, and learned the ordering code. I watched the slips move from the order sheet to the make-line and onto the boxes. An organization that is going to deliver pizza in under 30 minutes has to be exactly that: Organized. Expecting them to use all the help they could get, I was surprised to see that each dough skin was prepared by hand. It was final-kneaded and toss-stretched to size by a human dough handler, put on a screen, sauced per the order and passed to the cheese station.

I was there to drive, not make pizza, but, there was the secret desire. I had seen it on Television. I might have even seen a real pizza maker toss dough in the air and catch it. It looks fun, and one day, if things went well, I might even get to learn how to toss a dough. Someday. First, I had to get the delivery job, and be a good employee.

Turned out, all you had to do was have a valid license, insurance, a car, and be Eighteen. Stop next door at the copy shop, slap the items on a xerox, and you're hired. Here's your uniform shirt and hat and name tag. Blue slacks, no blue jeans and tennis shoes. Shower before work and wash your hands if you're in doubt.

It was my home town, and I had learned to drive there. With a big tank of a car, three on the tree and a 216 cu.in. engine, there was not much trouble I was going to get in to. That is, if the breaks work. The beast needed some pumping to get it to a stop, but other than that, pizza delivery wrapped in good old American Iron was a welcome sight. Just don't tap a British Convertible. Even though they were convicted of Insurance Fraud, it meant that I was going to be an inside employee if they would have me. And I knew they would.

During my first six months at Domino's, I had passed my phone test, and was expected to answer phones, take accurate orders, write neatly and post the tags to the make-line and get the other part affixed to the box. I would work later than other drivers, and got taught how to itemize pizzas. I even closed the store with the manager a number of times. I just wanted one thing: A shot at my two-minute pepperoni.

Once a quarter, Dave, the owner, would time people on making Pepperoni Pizzas. If you managed to make a saleable large pepperoni pizza in 120 seconds or less, you got a raise. It meant that you had what it takes to knock out a pizza. There were other factors too, of course. Just to give you the specifics, you had to start with a dough ball, kneed, shape and screen the dough. Put on the correct portion of sauce, and not go over the edges. Apply the correct amount of cheese, no time to use a scale, and then position 49-53 slices of pepperoni symmetrically on the pizza, such that it could be cut properly after cooking.

If you failed, you had to put the pepperoni back and save the skin for the next customer. You also had to wait until the next pay period before you would be eligible to try again, and even then, Dave had to be in a good mood. I had to take apart my first attempt. I was over the 2-minute mark by far. Two weeks later, I turned in a 93 second pizza, and we cooked it. That was, and always will be, the best pepperoni pizza I've ever had.

Manzano Poppers

This is my most ambitious post so far, and I am applying everything I've told you about blogging to bring you a Recipe Blog. Yes, I have seen so many posts that make me hungry, it's time for my revenge. So, here are my blurry pictures that I shot without a viewfinder, and hyper-fast video clip. Note that the formatting is likey to by rather whacked. I am not an HTML expert yet, so please bear with me as I just use the old editor. Without further ado:

Gas Grilled Manzano Poppers

(um, can I get a larger font?)

Above, you will see a montage of the ingredients we're going to use, except for one. Did I mention that I don't have a viewfinder on the camera? I've played with a number of cheeses, and since it is going to melt, you want one that melts well, and sticks together. It also needs enough taste to tell you "cheese" before, well, you encounter the power of the Manzano. For this, I have chosen Fontinella.

Buried as the backdrop, you can make out the premium center cut bacon. Note, don't get thick cut bacon for this. It won't work well. Get the leanest, oddly shaped, center cut bacon. Short strips are OK, and you're not serving these for the bacon anyway. It's really window-dressing to entice your prey please your guests. It also helps to absorb some of the heat from the pepper. Yes, after cooking, peeling and eating just the bacon will lite your fire.

Ingredients

• One or more Manzano Peppers ($13.99/lb@Vons)
• Premium Center Cut Bacon, Regular Cut (not thick)
• Fontinella Cheese (or multi-cheese melty blend)
• Blue Agave Sweetner (or Honey in a bottle)

Since this is a bacon-wrapped desert appetizer you'll need toothpicks to secure the bacon to itself. I strongly suggest Bamboo Toothpicks. Not because they are environmentally correct, and are not made from trees, but because they work better.

Because they are Bamboo, they slide through the bacon (and into the pepper if need be) without grabbing and tearing like a Birch toothpick will. If you can get Bamboo Toothpicks, do so.

Here are the four peppers that we are going to get prepared and grilled. Each pepper will yield between 2 and 4 poppers, depending on how it is segmented. The pepper in the bottom left corner is triple segmented, having three septa. The rest are double septa peppers. You can tell by shining a bright light into the side wall and looking at the ends of the pepper to see what lights up.

For a three-lobed or tri-septa pepper, the goal is to bisect the septum (split the membrane) on each of the three segments. This, of course, takes three cuts. Here are three horrible photos of the three cuts. Look to the stem to see the angle. Note the depth.

The knife I am using is a 12cm paring knife, and it is very sharp.

For double chamber peppers, cut opposite the septa, to make a pair of halves, and once you can see the septa, split the halves into quarters by splitting the septa.

After the third cut, gently pry the segments apart from the bottom. You will need to make sure that all three cuts intersect at the base of the pepper. This is why it looks a little deep. It is.

And you will get three pieces, that are 90% sealed up, and almost resemble apple slices. This may be one of the reasons that "Manzano" has been translated to "Apple." The hottest part of the pepper is right next to the seeds. Preserve this if, if you're lucky, on the stemmed piece. Remember to give the stemmed pepper to a friend, and try not to blush when you do.

Use the tip of the very sharp knife to both incise into the pockets and to knock the seeds off of the central spire. Take care to hold the pepper by the outer edges. Use Nitrile or Latex gloves (powder free) if you have sensitive skin. Try NOT to touch the septa (membranes) or central pepper stem with your fingers.
Shake the seeds out of the pockets. Save the seeds for someone with a green thumb. Do not give this person a stemmed popper.


Add a small amount of Blue Agave Sweetener, or a slightly smaller amount of honey. This will add an initial sweet taste to the stuffing and prevent any early pepper pungency that can discourage timid guests. Since Manzano Peppers are up to 10 times hotter than a Jalapeno, a little regulation on the heat does not hurt.

I use grated Fontinella, and since it is fresh and sticky, it works very well in the peppers. This pepper does not have a nice septum covering it up, but it will wrap just the same. As long as the outside arc of skin is more than 90 degrees, you can stuff and wrap it. It may not be the most ideal thing, and much cheese may melt, away, but it will never be a waste.

Careful use of the toothpicks will secure the bacon in place. After the bacon starts to cook and fuse together, the toothpick is not as important. However, if you can get it to survive the grilling process, it makes a somewhat safe handle to manipulate the pepper by.

Cook over Medium-Low heat. Do not let flames encroach. After they begin to cook feel free to pour a lite coat of Agave or Honey, or whatever else you'd like to try. Experiment. After turning, coat again. Watch to make sure you don't have flare-ups do to burning sugar. If you do, move the pepper to a safer area. When in doubt, turn the poppers. I do not think you can turn them too much.

The idea is to slowly cook the bacon all the way around. The cheese will melt, don't worry about that. Some will escape. Grab a toothpick and snag the cheese. Even a small drip of cheese will lite up your life. Don't touch your eye. If you do, you are required to post your results here and tell us what happened.



Now, here's my problem. I can smell these things now. So, I have no choice but to spread the torture. For me, I can go make them. I can do them in the dark with an LED flashlight if have have to. I'm feeling a bit lazy. So, to enjoy the torture, just watch the clip below.

Oh yea. Time for a cautionary note. Capsicum Oil will atomize in the steam and smoke in a closed grill. While a closed grill is optimum for cooking Manzano Poppers, it is a pepper spray bomb waiting to be unleashed. Turn your head away from the grill when you open it. This is a mistake you will make only once, and then, your anxiousness will be tempered by the memory of the pain. Consider yourself warned.

I decided that the poppers needed another coat of Agave. They are basically done at this point.

Now, I turn the heat down to low and place a piece of folded foil on the bun-rack. As the poppers complete their cooking (yes, they are all different) onto the sheet they go for storage. It is sometimes necessary to prop one pepper on another to get the right area to cook. Bacon should be properly cooked, and in this case, just this side of crispy.

That's it. I'm done with this post, and I can not stand it any more. I am just happy that I've still got one of these fourteen poppers left. They will keep for a long time in the fridge, and they are fantastic cold, warm, re-heated on the bun warmer the next day, etc.

Just don't use a microwave.

Treasure Chests and Coffers

Now I get the chance to tinker with a video upload. I've owned a small ball-camera for some time, and have been accumulating some interesting bits of video. While many of the files are much larger than the 100 Megabyte limit for video files here on Blogger, I do have some short clips like this one:

This is all in camera, no editing, and surveillance quality. Note, there is no viewfinder on this camera, so it takes some time and attention to guess at the shot you're getting. Regardless, it's a little movie, akin to the old Super8 movies that the upper middle class of the 70's used.

[Editor's note: after the upload, it was not available for a short while, and now somehow it's 1/2 as long as it orignally was. There are some edits. The gist is still there, and this compression was quite unexpected. Was this done by machine or human?]

Just a note, that via cable-modem, this 20MB file took a few minutes to upload. The nice thing is that I was able to keep writing while the video was uploaded. Now, the Blogger site is "Processing Video" as I continue to write. Pretty cool. After a little while, I expect that the frame will appear frozen under the Play Icon.

Now, I've never done this before, so we'll see how this goes. Looks finished. Yes, the date in the corner is accurate. Normally, on the 5th of July, the alleys in my beach community are overrun with "canners" that have no compunction from stealing from city owned recycling bins (the blue ones) and from the private refuse company containers that also accept recyclables and separate them at their facility.

After several complaints and gathering some grass-roots support, we got our end of the alley cleaned up, and we no longer have stinking, loud, poorly exhausted vehicles with cigarette smoking, urinating in the alley people rummaging through the cans, climbing in the dumpster and using our shaded parking spaces to crush cans at 0530.

Frankly, it's bad enough that I have to listed to the trash going into the cans in the evening, I prefer not to be awakened early on a Sunday morning loud clinking glass and crushing cans coming out of the bins and into hand held trash bags, that have been harvested from the cans too. Most people are aware that all trash in this city must be bagged before disposal. The canners don't care - they see the empty bag as valuable, and they have emptied the contents just to get one or two redeemable bottles or cans.

After you see the video, you'll know how it got handled. Today, things are not this neat, and we have to get the neighbor to put their single family cans back after they are emptied on Mondays.

Formatting tip: Upload the video, write the text, drag the video down to where you want it, and while it is selected, hit the "center justify" icon to move it to the center of the post window. Grab a corner of the video image to adjust the size. I messed up the aspect ratio, so I had to upload the video a second time. Gaak.

On the second upload, it is at the end of the post, so I will drag it upward to where I want it. I am going to leave it in the default format, since I think my camera is 320x240. Being able to control the magnification and aspect ration would be nice. Yes, you can re-position the video in the post while it is uploading and processing.

On another note, the upload policy was not displayed when the link in the upload dialog box was clicked. I am pretty sure I know what it says, and I am in compliance since I shot the video, own the copyright, and there is nothing obscene. Trashy, yes. Obscene, No.

I shot another short video with the same kind of camera, and donated it to another blogger, since it pertains directly to their blog. Feel free to click the link you just read over and look for it.

Have fun!

Small, Medium and Large

The Mountains of Sierra Vista

I followed my rule, and uploaded the images in reverse, order, selecting small (left), medium (right) and large (center) as my placement options. I put the banner at the top because I know someone who wants a copy. I plan to make a better copy of it. I selected the best 400 pixels, since I know that the Large size is 400 pixels wide.

You have to hit the down arrow to get to the region to the right of the photo below. It appears that I have found the space to the right of the second image. Yes, this is making the final image go downward. The image at the left is a small left placement at 200 pixels wide. The image uploaded was 640 wide, so it got a bit crisper as a result.

This line will be to the left of the medium 320 pixel wide image. This one was also 640 pixels wide, but I did crop out some of the upper and lower portions. From these dawn photos of the desert just west of the 92 Highway in Southern Arizona, there are some elements of beauty to be had, but you have to look close and through the bushes to find it.

I managed to make a few mistakes along the way, one of which was using the delete key to delete forward, which deleted one of the photos that I had uploaded. This may be why the small one is in the middle. They are of dessert, so it really does not make much of a difference what the order is.

By allowing for such a mistake to occur, I can keep the time to a minimum. I did this, and now, I know that the resolutions are 200, 320 and 400 pixels for small, medium and large photographs. Handy information to have, and from the quality of the images I've been able to eek from my security camera, I have to say that the small image looks the best. While the camera shots 640x480 images, they're not the clearest images in the world.

Now that I've tinkered with photos, I have to say I like them allot. It is now going to be a challenge to get photos of the quality that I believe necessary before I really start using them in a blog. Some of the photo blogs out there are very high quality images.